Hey Guys! I'm gonna be changing a bunch of the names. I'll make a set that has who is who. This chapter is the same though. Tell me what you think <3
I walked in the dark until I realized I was at Jack's. I jumped onto the roof and knocked on his window. He opened it and looked at me kind of puzzled. I would probably look at someone the same way if it was eleven o'clock and someone knocked on my window. I kept walking. I didn't even know where the hell I was going? I just walked in the dark. I looked up " Scarlett what are you doing here?"
" Just passing by." I smiled as I said it. I knew it was not believable because no one is just passing by at eleven o'clock. He came onto the roof, shut his window almost fully then sat down next to me.
" What's really going on?"
" The guy who shot my dad is being released. And I can't do anything about it. "
" I thought you were trying to find evidence against him."
" I did. Then we were forced to stop. We had to stop the investigation." I reached into my purse and grabbed my lighter and the pack of cigarettes. "Want one?"
" Yea thanks. How did you get these?"
" The guy at the drug store is an idiot and he doesn't check my age."
" Wow he's easy. I used to have someone get them for me."
" Does anyone know you smoke,'' I asked.
" No. I don't really tell people because they look down on it. It's just a nerve calmer." I knew exactly what he was talking about. That's why I smoked. It just calmed me down. I lit his cigarette then I lit mine. We sat there in silence for a while. Then I laid down and looked at the stars. They were so bright and beautiful. It was amazing just sitting there in complete silence. It was like words didn't need to be said. We could almost communicate without even uttering a word. With other people it is awkward when this happens. We always have to talk to make it comfortable. But now with him. He laid next to me and we finished our cigarettes.
The burning sensation filled my throat. It hurt but at the same time gave an amazing sensation. We just laid there doing nothing. All of the sudden he sat up. It kind of startled me. He jumped into his room and shut the curtain, and turned the light off. He probably had a reason so I just sat there for a minute longer. I moved away from the window so if someone looked out of it they wouldn't see me.
After about five minutes the window opened and he walked onto the roof one again. '' I'm sorry. If my mom saw me on the roof she would have a heart attack. "
" It's cool. My mom would have done the exact same thing." My mom saw me pop the screen and flipped out on me. And told me I would fall and die. I've done it a million times and am I still alive. I am, well almost.
" I saw on your profile you like to skate. Do you know any good skate parks?"
" Oh yea definitely. There's a good one of Main Street."
" Really? Thanks! Do you want to go skating after school tomorrow?"
" Yea that would be awesome. But what about Hailey?"
" She can come. " He had no idea what he just said. She can't even get on a board. She will come and make a fool of herself.
"Um sure it's just." I didn't want to tell him.
" I know she can't skate at all. We hung out after school and I started skating. She watched me and told me I was really good. Then she wanted to get on the board. She fell and sprained her ankle. "
" Oh so you know."
'' Yes I know." I looked at my phone and saw it was one on the morning. I had to leave my mom would flip if I missed another day of school. " Jack I got to go. "
" I'll walk you home." He was such a gentlemen.
" You really don't have to," I really wanted him to but then again I didn't.
" I'm going to. I'm not going to let you walk alone in the dark."
" Okay whatever you say."
He grabbed his shoes and jumped of the roof first. He reached out and grabbed my waist and helped me down. I landed inches from his face. We looked at each other for a moment then we looked away. We started walking towards my house. It took us about five minutes because I only lived a block away. We got to my house and I turned to him to say goodbye. " Thanks again."
" No problem." I kissed him on the cheek and then turned around. He gave me a boost up to my roof. I waved to him. I waited until he faded into the darkness to go inside. My window was unlocked so I opened it and walked in.
I turned my light on and went and sat on my bed. My phone died so I put it on the charger. I got into some sweats and an old tank. I got onto my computer and logged onto my Instagram. I had some activity and as I looked through it Jack had tagged me in a few pictures. One of them was at my game when I shot a goal. Then the other was the picture we took at the beach. We were on the pier and we had someone take a picture for us.
I really liked the picture so I saved it and put it as my screen saver. I knew Hailey would get mad but at this point I didn't care. Jack and I were close so she would just have to deal. I scrolled through my feed. I heard my phone beep and I got a text. It was from Jack ' Got home. See you tomorrow!'
After that I decided I needed to go to bed. I turned my computer off, and did a few last things. Then I fell into a deep sleep.
My alarm went off and it was super loud. I looked at the time and it was six. I got up and showered. I got out and dried of my hair. I decided to add colored ribbons in my hair and then French braid it. I grabbed my favorite ripped skinny jeans, and a simple black tank with a galaxy cross on it. I put some light make up on. I grabbed my bag and vans. I ran down the stairs to see my mom and John drinking coffee in the kitchen. " Morning," I say with a smile.
" Morning Honey. How'd you sleep?"
" Good thanks." I grabbed a food bar and went into the hall closet to grab my board.
" Why are you taking that?" John asked me. What does he think. I'm going to take it for a pillow. I'm taking it so I can ride it what else. I swear he is an idiot.
" I'm going to the skate park after school with my friend."
" I don't like the fact that you hang around guys so much. You're a girl and you should hang around other girls," My mom told me this every time I said I was going skating. I'm her only daughter and she wants me to be girly and like to wear dresses. Okay that is just not going to happen and that is a promise.
" Mom girls are annoying, catty, and prissy. I'm just not like that. And guys are a whole lot better friends because they don't backstab you. And why did you assume I was going with a guy?"
" Because none of your girlfriends are skaters. And whenever someone comes over to go skating with you it's a guy. You need more girlfriends." I'm not seeing the problem with this. About all of my friends are guys. And about all of my guy friends are just like me. My mom grew up only hanging out with girls so she wants me to.
" Mom I ain't about that life. I like who I'm friends with. I don't need anyone else.''
" And not to even mention what you are wearing. What the hell is that?" She looked disgustedly at my ripped jeans. She looked at me like I didn't know how to dress.
"Seriously this is cute. It's my style."
"On what planet." This one obliviously! She just doesn't know style. Well she does just not mine.
" You're not going to school like that right?"
" Well of course I am. That's why I put it on." I looked at my phone and it was time for me to go. "Bye!" I yelled as I ran out of the door.
I jumped on my board and rode to the bus stop. I got there right as the bus got there. I jumped on and got to my normal seat in the back. I sat down and we stopped on the next bus stop where Jack was at. He came on with his board. I moved to the window seat and he sat down.
" Hey!" I said.
" Hey! How was your morning?"
" Good until my mom lectured me on how I need to hang out with more girls and that my outfit looked disgusting because of the rips and she doesn't like the galaxy stuff. "
" Wow ha-ha! That's funny. I like your outfit it's different. Not a lot of girls could pull it off." His laugh was adorable. He really did know his stuff.
" Yea I know. I bought the shoes with the shirt cause they matched. My mom was not so happy when I came home with them. I've learned to just not care. She wants me to be like her and dress like Hailey and Taylor. I told her I ain't about that life. Her mouth dropped. I left before she could lecture me on my grammar and my jeans." He started laughing so hard. I started laughing to. We couldn't stop laughing and I have absolutely no clue why. We just couldn't. It was one of those moments you hold onto for a rainy day and remember how happy you were at that specific moment. It's truly an amazing thing.
We got off the bus and we walked to my locker.
" Can I put my board in here?"
" Yea of course." We put our boards in the locker and waited for Hailey. She came and she has a brace on her ankle. Jack went and hugged her." I'm sorry about that baby."
" Its fine. It doesn't hurt as much anymore. Oh hi Scarlett."
" Hi are you okay?"
" Yea I'm fine. Is it cool if Liam and Taylor come with us to the skate thing?" Great! Liam was going to pull some jack ass stunt. I wasn't going to worry about it. Jack was going to be there so he may not pull something. Well it is Liam I'm talking about so anything could happen.
" Yea it's cool with me. How about you Scarlett?"
" Yea sounds fine."
" Great I'll tell her. I got to go to class. Bye. " She kissed him on the cheek and then went to class. We decided to walk to History together. " Can I be completely honest with you?"
" Of course." What was he going to say. I was kind of scared of what he was going to say. He pulled me over and looked me right in the eyes.
" I really like you. I mean a lot a lot like you. I think I may love you. You're so amazing and beautiful. I can't even hold it in anymore. It's everything about you. How you act, dress, talk and I just like you for you. I love you so much. You are the only girl I have ever felt like this about. It's fine if you don't feel the same way, I'll understand." I could not believe he had just said that. He had no idea that was exactly how I feel. I put my arms around his neck and kissed him. It was perfect. It was just an amazing moment.
" Does this mean you feel the same way?" He said with a grin.
'' Yes it does. It means I feel the exact same way." His smile got super big. His blue eyes sparkled. It was the happiest moment. We stared each other in the eye with big smiles. He was so amazing. He was so much better than any other guy I had ever liked. His smile, his eyes, his warmth, his existence, him. Everything about him was amazing. He was absolutely perfect.
" What about Hailey?"
" I'm going to break up with her. I can't love her. I don't want to lead her on."
" Okay." We walked to history. We sat in the back with the rest of the of the group. We continued with American History. I couldn't think straight. I'd look over at him and he would already be staring.
It was amazing to feel loved by someone.
I haven't had this feeling in a long time. Is it too early for me to hope this lasts a long time. History flew by, as did all the other classes. He broke up with Hailey during lunch. She didn't care at all. He told me she guessed it was because of me. She said she could already tell because of how he looked at me. Then later she told me that she was really happy for me and that she knew he loved me because when he looked at me he would just stare. I was really happy she wasn't mad. But I was really surprised she was actually happy. But I wasn't going to question.
The day was finally over. We went to our lockers and grabbed our stuff and Taylor's mom drove us. We skated for a few hours then we all parted. It was just Jack and I. I had to go to the station to try to fight to keep Martinez in jail. " I really have to go."
" I'm going to come with you?"
" Why? You're going to watch me work."
" Whoever said I was going to watch you work. I'm going to help you of course." I knew he was coming no matter what. There was no point in arguing with him because he was going to win anyways.
" Okay whatever you say. You can come."
" Yay!" Wow he was such a little kid. He hugged me tight.
" You're such a little kid. It's hilarious.''
" Ha-ha. I know I am."
I pulled a cigarette from by backpack and gave it to him. Then I pulled one out for me. I lit them both.
" Thanks Babe!''
" No problem. We just have to finish before we get to the station."
" Okay I will." He put his arm around me as we walked. It was amazing how much we could act like ourselves with each other. We didn't have to act any different. None of my other friends know I smoked. To them it's like a disease to be an individual. You always had to be like someone else. It was absolutely ridiculous. " Why?" I asked him.
" Why what?"
" Why me? You have so many other options. Better options for that matter." He was silent for a minute and you could tell he was contemplating his answer.
" Yes I do have other options. But want to know something?"
" They aren't you and that's why I don't like them. You are so unique and different. You are exactly what I'm looking for in a girl. You are the only one I want in my life. And you are the most beautiful I have ever met." That was the sweetest thing a guy has ever told me. I couldn't believe he said that.
" Thank you so much. You're so amazing."
" Thanks. Scarlett it's the honest truth. Everything I said I actually meant. You are seriously the most chill girl. I love the fact that you are unique. You are so independent. You don't need anyone else. I love the fact that you have your own style and like what you like not what others want you to like. There are almost no words to describe you. You could be considered indescribable."
I could feel the tears coming. I tried not to show them. I tried blinking them back but I couldn't as much as I wanted to. They just flowed out of my eyes. He turned to see me crying. '' Baby what's wrong?"
" It's just." I couldn't even talk. " It's just what you said. It was so sweet. And it was exactly what I have always wanted to hear. Thank you. You are to amazing for me." He pulled me in and hugged me. He just held me in his arms. He rested his head on mine and held me close. I just felt so safe. He let me go. " Better?"
" Yes." I said with a smile. I love him so much. He is just too good. He has made me feel more beautiful in a few sentences than Liam could in two years. He made me feel like I was actually worth something. I have never had this feeling before.
We continued to walk hand in hand. His fingers perfectly fit. We finally got to the station . We walked in and went to Gonzalez's office. We walked in and he gave me kind of a look. It said who the hell is this with you? " Hey." I said trying to stop him from saying something stupid.
'' Hey Scarlett. Who's this? " He said with a grin.
" This is Jack, my boyfriend."
" Oh I see." He said smirking. He came and shook his hand. Then he said something I couldn't hear but I knew it had to do something with him hurting me. I'll get it out of him. " Has anything changed?"
" No I'm sorry."
" F**k! They have to be f**king kidding me! This guy killed my dad. He killed part of me to. Shouldn't that be enough to keep him here. " I banged my hand on the desk.
" No it isn't. And part of anyone that knew your dad died. I always think of him as happy. He would walk into a room and it would just light up. Even if you were having a bad day he could always cheer you up."
'' I know, I remember. He never was mad or upset at home. He always just tried to make people laugh. He always knew how to make someone smile. "
" Yes he was. You remind me of him so much. You come into a room and it lights up just like him. You're independent and don't need anyone. That's how he always was. And his best quality was his courage. He was the most courageous man I had the privilege to know. "
My father is my hero. Most people will say their hero is someone who is famous and is going to be remembered. No but my father is my hero. He knew he was going to die and he didn't fun. He wasn't scared. He lived life to the absolute fullest. He never showed fear in front of anyone.
Gonzalez continued, " I wish I could be half as good of a man as he was."
" You are more than half as good of a man of him. You are amazing. You are my father since mine is gone. And I want to thank you for everything."
" No thank you. You are almost my daughter. And thank you for being an amazing blessing to my wife and I." I smiled. I walked to him and hugged him. I let go and realized Jack was still there. I went back to him and he grabbed my waist and held me close to him.
" You two should get going. You should get some sleep. You don't want to be tired for the weekend."
" No we don't. Please call me if anything changes."
" I will. Night."
" Night." We walked out. We went the back way to Jack's house. As soon we were out of sight of the department I let the tears fall and hard. Why does this have to happen to me! I'm a good person. Do I really deserve this?
" Don't cry, baby please don't cry." Jack said trying to comfort me. It didn't help at all.
" I'm going to lose my mom. The last thing that means something!"
" I guess I know where I stand then!'' Jack said pissed off. He let go of me and made a distance between us.
" I didn't mean it like that, I swear." I tried to walk near him but he just moved away from me.
" Please Jack! Please! Don't do this, I'm sorry. I'm not thinking clearly. Please I love you. You mean everything."
" Yea right Scarlett. I can't believe I told you I loved you. Just don't talk to me. You can deal with your f***ed up life alone! " He said walking away from me. Why was I so stupid. I honestly didn't mean to say that. I don't want to lose him. I need him.
I walked home alone. Tears staining my eyes. His cold words filled my head. It replayed my head so many times on the way home. Did he mean it? Or did he say it out of his anger? These questions I needed answered.
I got home and ran upstairs to the bathroom. I locked the door and slid down the door. There was an unbearable pain in my chest. It was as if my heart were actually breaking. He just walked away. And his last words so cold and dark.
I got up and went to the place where my blades were. I grabbed them and sat down. I took the small blade and began to pierce my delicate skin. The blood flowed out of my arm. The release came quick. I carved help into my wrist. The blood came out fast. I grabbed a wrap I had and wrapped it around my arm. The bleeding stopped.
I put the blade back and walked out of the bathroom. I went to my room and sat on my bed.
I sat there for hours just thinking. My mind was racing so much. It was so loud. The demons in my mind kept haunting me. I kept hearing ' Just end it right now. No one will care anyways.' That thought ran through my head a million times. I couldn't bear it anymore. I was ready to die. I went in the my drawer and grabbed my pills. I grabbed the water bottle from my vanity. I was really going to do it this time.